Why am I passionate about this?

I’ve always been curious about people and the way they interact. When I was a small child, all our neighbors had their back doors wide open to catch the summertime breeze; they’d get the sense they were being watched… by my small face pressed against the screen door, listening and learning. My parents would get called..” She’s doing it again.” As an introvert, a performing artist, and a coach, I’ve learned to tune my ears to the messaging beneath the words—the unspoken truth in the interaction. And I truly believe that if we can learn to be more effective and compassionate listenersour world will change for the better.


I wrote

Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice: The Listening Coach

By Kymberly Dakin-Neal,

Book cover of Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice: The Listening Coach

What is my book about?

My award-winning book is about how we listen, what we listen for, why it matters, and how to do it better.…

Shepherd is reader supported. When you buy books, we may earn an affiliate commission.

The books I picked & why

Book cover of You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters

Kymberly Dakin-Neal Why did I love this book?

Listening is an “assumed” skill that does not receive its fair share of attention. I love Kate Murphy’s strong, resounding voice in this terrific book! She grabs my attention and sets me straight on why listening is a highly effective superpowerquite a radical notion in our ever-noisier world.

With plenty of real-life examples of everyday people who employ advanced listening skills, Murphy makes a strong case for the need to intentionally refine our listening. She also provides me with effective and interesting tools to help with that development.

Key takeaway: Kate Murphy is an excellent storyteller. Just because she is a “listening activist” doesn’t mean she can’t tell insightful and often quite humorous stories!

By Kate Murphy,

Why should I read it?

1 author picked You're Not Listening as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

'BRILLIANT' Chris Evans, Virgin Radio Breakfast Show

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?

This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever.

At work, we're taught to lead the conversation.

On social media, we shape our personal narratives.

At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.

We're not listening.

And no one is listening to us.

Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus…


Book cover of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Kymberly Dakin-Neal Why did I love this book?

For anyone tempted to label good listening as “soft skills,” this book will prove you wrong! Even though the book was published in 2010, Goulston positions listening as a vital skill all the more needed in today’s fractious times.

Each chapter is structured with a high-stakes story, “Usable Insights,” and “Action Steps,” with excellent, researched info in between. From the chapter titled “Nine Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone,” I personally learned so much from this book that I could apply to my daily interactions—particularly those with my very argumentative teenage daughter!

By Mark Goulston,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked Just Listen as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

Getting through to someone is a critical, fine art. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered.

Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help you turn the "impossible" and "unreachable" people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends.

In Just Listen, Goulston provides simple yet powerful techniques you can…


Book cover of The Empathy Exams: Essays

Kymberly Dakin-Neal Why did I love this book?

One of the most powerful benefits of skilled listening is building trust. Empathy is essential to creating trusting relationships. Jamison is a trained actor, and deep listening and empathy are essential to the craft of acting.

This book spans her experiences, from her work in medical training to her research on incarceration, reality TV, and street violence. I was struck by the heartfulness and clarity in Jamison's writing about what she has witnessed and experienced. She pulls no punches.

The stories in this book provide a clarion call for our species to regain our empathy for each other through skilled and intentional listening to connect, extend understanding, and ensure our survival.

By Leslie Jamison,

Why should I read it?

3 authors picked The Empathy Exams as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

From personal loss to phantom diseases, The Empathy Exams is a bold and brilliant collection, winner of the Graywolf Press Nonfiction Prize

A Publishers Weekly Top Ten Essay Collection of Spring 2014

Beginning with her experience as a medical actor who was paid to act out symptoms for medical students to diagnose, Leslie Jamison's visceral and revealing essays ask essential questions about our basic understanding of others: How should we care about each other? How can we feel another's pain, especially when pain can be assumed, distorted, or performed? Is empathy a tool by which to test or even grade…


Book cover of How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

Kymberly Dakin-Neal Why did I love this book?

If I could have a crush on a balding conservative with bad teeth, I would have a crush on David Brooks. I may not always agree with his NYT opinions, but I can’t dispute that he is an author of deep curiosity and integrity.

As a journalist, his focus on making the other person feel seen, heard, and understood would seem to be part of his toolkit. But what I most appreciate about Brooks, the storyteller, is his ability to share himself not as an expert in the topic of listening but as a curious and resourceful guide.

The terrain here varies as he interviews practitioners in the fields of psychology, neuroscience, theatre, philosophy, education, and more. Throughout the book, he relays the mistakes and foibles in his own listening journey. I felt encouraged to learn and grow alongside him. David Brooks is a writer with immense stores of compassion, humor, and diligence.

By David Brooks,

Why should I read it?

2 authors picked How to Know a Person as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A practical, heartfelt guide to the art of truly knowing another person in order to foster deeper connections at home, at work, and throughout our lives—from the author of The Road to Character and The Second Mountain

As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.”

And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us…


Book cover of Listening Is an Act of Love: A Celebration of American Life from the StoryCorps Project

Kymberly Dakin-Neal Why did I love this book?

This book is a celebration of experiences, told not by Hollywood, not by “the rich and famous,” but by people who might live next door to you and me. Pulled together from the massive archives of the highly esteemed StoryCorps project and edited by its Founder—Dave Isay, this book is dedicated to the power of true stories told by ordinary Americans.

I love the sheer variety offered in this collection. I did not expect this book to be a page-turner, but each story held such unpredictability and emotional range that I simply could not put it down! The book is a rich reminder that once we establish the time and space to listen deeply, people will offer stories that unfold like stunning flowers on a time-lapse video.

By Dave Isay (editor),

Why should I read it?

1 author picked Listening Is an Act of Love as one of their favorite books, and they share why you should read it.

What is this book about?

A New York Times Bestseller

“Each interview is a revelation.” —USA Today

“As heartwarming as a holiday pumpkin pie and every bit as homey . . . what emerges in these compelling pages is hard-won wisdom and boundless humanity.” —Seattle Post-Intelligencer

As heard on NPR, a wondrous nationwide celebration of our shared humanity

StoryCorps founder and legendary radio producer Dave Isay selects the most memorable stories from StoryCorps' collection, creating a moving portrait of American life.

The voices here connect us to real people and their lives—to their experiences of profound joy, sadness, courage, and despair, to good times and…


Don't forget about my Book 😀

Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice: The Listening Coach

By Kymberly Dakin-Neal,

Book cover of Head, Heart, and Hands Listening in Coach Practice: The Listening Coach

What is my book about?

My award-winning book is about how we listen, what we listen for, why it matters, and how to do it better. Accessible and applicable, it explores the three listening modalities of head, heart, and hands as active, though largely unconscious, lenses that inform the potency of our listening. 

I have filled this book with case studies, compelling true stories, refreshing personal discoveries, and hands-on activities to make the concepts easy and intriguing to apply. If you are a coach, counselor or therapist, salesperson, medical professional, caregiver, or teacher, you Listen for a Living. This book is designed for you. Reading this book might transform your next important conversation.

You might also like...

A Particular Man

By Lesley Glaister,

Book cover of A Particular Man

Lesley Glaister Author Of A Particular Man

New book alert!

Why am I passionate about this?

About myself: As a novelist I’m crazy for detail. I believe it’s the odd and unexpected aspects of life that bring both characters and story worlds to life. This means that I try to be an observer at all times, keeping alert and using all five – and maybe six – senses. My perfect writing morning begins with a dog walk in the woods or on a beach, say, while keeping my senses sharp to the world around me and listening out for the first whisper of what the day’s writing will bring.

Lesley's book list on relationships and sexuality in post-World War II Britain

What is my book about?

This book is a literary historical novel. It is set in Britain immediately after World War II, when people – gay, straight, young, and old - are struggling to get back on track with their lives, including their love lives. Because of the turmoil of the times, the number of losses, and the dangerous and peculiar circumstances people find themselves in, sexual mores have become shaken and stirred.

But what happened after the war, in the time of healing and settling down? This novel examines the emotional, romantic, and sexual lives of three characters searching for a way to proceed.

A Particular Man

By Lesley Glaister,

What is this book about?

Love never dies in this novel by “a writer of addictive emotional thrillers” (The Independent).

Told from three perspectives A Particular Man is about love, truth and the unpredictable consequences of loss.

When Edgar dies in a Far East prisoner-of-war camp it breaks the heart of fellow prisoner Starling. In Edgar’s final moments, Starling makes him a promise. When, after the war, he visits Edgar’s family, to fulfil this promise, Edgar's mother Clementine mistakes him for another man.

Her mistake allows him access to Edgar’s home and to those who loved him, stirring powerful and disorientating emotions, and embroiling him…


5 book lists we think you will like!

Interested in communication, empathy, and school?

Communication 67 books
Empathy 161 books
School 270 books